Okay, if you’ve been reading this here blog for a while, you know that I’m sick a lot (for a variety of reasons). That doesn’t mean that my committment to the blog has gone down — it just means that I’m a perfectionist and if I start writing before I’m, like, recovered, that may mean that I start entertaining you with stream of (altered, by, like, not feeling so good) states of consciousness. And since I want this to be a TV Blog rather than a Rob Talks About Whatever the Hell Is On His Mind Blog, I’m not going to go to THAT wellstream too often.
But one of the great things that being sick allowed me to do was think more about the type of reviews that I’m going to do. And I came up with, “Hey, I’m gonna do reviews in three sizes: Small, Medium and Large.” No, I didn’t make that up. That was exactly what I was thinking, treating reviews like they were McDonald’s
Freedom French Fries. (Mmmmm. French Fries.)
So here’s my first installment of Rob’s Bullet Reviews. Rob’s Bullet Reviews are my court of
desperation expediency. It means that I’ve seen the episode, I’ve decided on a grade, but I prefer to talk more at length about the show at some other time if ever. So you’ll see the episode title, Original Air Date (I’m kinda giving up on episode numbers for this season for everything but Gilmore Girls — that’s the real casualty of being sick a lot. But I digress . . .), Grade and perhaps a one-liner, either a joke or some brief comment about an actor/character/story point I liked/hated. Bullet Reviews will come in bunches of about 3, 4 or 5 and I’d like you to consider them as starting points for the comments section for that post, where, of course, I’m likely to join in the conversation and inadverantly tell you what I really think about the suckitude of Desperate Housewives (Oh, god, I think I just accidentally committed myself to watching at least one full episode this season if I can stomach it. I’ll put it off until Spring, when the show’s been given the maximum chance to Not Suck before I watch a full episode again.) about the given episode.
So thus commences the first installment of Rob’s Bullet Reviews:
Lost — “The Glass Ballerina” (Original Air Date: 10-11-06): I’m giving this one a grade of A- even though I’m a Jaterboi. (Robspeak: “Jaterboi = fan of Jack-and-Kate-without-being-a-Shipper of said Ship.”)
Ugly Betty — “The Box and the Bunny” (OAD: 10-05-06, and I told you I was sick for a while): This is the simultaneous spoof of and embracement of soap opera that Desperate Housewives desperately wants to be, but can never be because Marc Cherry lacks Salma Hayek’s taste and judgment. Grade: A+
My Name Is Earl — “Larceny of a Kitty Cat” (OAD: 10-12-06): I have a cat, I like Amy Sedaris. Grade: A-.
The Office — “Grief Counseling” (OAD: 10-12-06): Relatively underwhelming. I think they killed the one joke of Michael’s aversion to death early in the episode. Grade: B+.
CSI: Original Recipe — “Fannysmackin'” (OAD: 10-12-06): Despite the unforgivable presence of K-Fed, this episode is so clever, featuring great performances by the main cast, especially Greg, and is capped with so brilliant a closing monologue from Grissom that I give the episode an A+. Despite the unforgivable presence of K-Fed. (Did I mention that I despise no-talent tabloid fodder like K-Fed?)
Okay. Discuss. Release the Hounds. Say Something.
PS: This one’s dedicated to the Row 1 Regulars of the now-defunct Watch With Kristin chats at E!Online, in particular, to thursdaymorning, who now has something to read on mondaymorning.