The New Dosage

Through collaboration with the doctors, we were able to halve my dosage of Geodon.  I’m wary of the placebo effect, but there were times during my overdose on the Geodon where I was lucid enough to know that I was in the place where the drug was working.  Similarly, but warily, I’m in a *much* better, non-Prozackywackyshinyhappypeople place with the halved dosage, but then again, I’m also still coming down from the non-life-threatening overdose of the med earlier in the week.

It’s interesting, playing this trial-and-error game and never being entirely sure of anything, but one thing that I do know is that I thought that medication would cut down on my writing, take away my interest and ability in my art like movies and TV always show happens to mentally ill artists who get drugged out.  Instead, I feel more unleashed, more honest, and more conversational.  Might be the placebo effect of the new dosage, might not.  OTOH, it might even be the fun of learning how to use this here blog — any way you cut it, being medicated is more than it’s cracked up to be for, well, at least me.

Side-note:  I’ll fully admit that this may be me identifying with Lorelai a bit too much, but anybody want to discuss a theory that Lorelai might have Type 2 Bipolar Disorder — yes, the one I have.  To recap:  Bipolar 2 symptoms are mixed — there’s no rollercoaster of mood swings except when you’d expect “normal” people to have them (birth, marriage, bat mitzvah, third viewing of Titanic).  Instead, those with Bipolar 2 have mixed symptoms.  Remember when Lorelai was repeating the mantra to herself “fight or flight fight or flight” when going to Luke to explain to him why they had to enforce Rory’s own self-imposed boundaries not to talk to her?  Well, IMO, in TYpe 2 Bipolar, it’s not fight OR flight — it’s fight AND flight.  Both are stuck on in equal measure, and so you’re in constant conflict with your own instincts, not knowing which of your internal critical voices to believe because they’re telling you diametrically opposite things.  I think Lorelai’s exactly like that, which explains her constant ADD-like fidgetyness and why she BOTH fought Luke and flew away from him in the final scene of Partings.  I’m not saying I’m right or anything, just opening this one up for discussion.  What y’all think?

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